Why aren’t people responding to my on-line messages

I get asked all the time why people are not responding to messages that people are sending through the dating apps. Do you wonder why, too?

I believe I have some answers.

• People who aren’t paid subscribers can’t send messages that will be received from those who HAVE paid. So, if you want to play you have to pay. You can look for free, but in order to play on the ride, you need to pay for it.
• The person is simply not interested.
• The person is bombarded with other people vying for their attention, and to be honest, if you are a man, you’ll get fewer messages than women. Go figure! Women get usually a dozen a day (and most are non-matches) but trying to keep up, send kind responses saying you aren’t interested can become a part time job.

So, how do you stand out in a crowded world of people vying for a woman’s or man’s attention?

• Put some thought into the first message you send to someone. Please be kind, respectful, interested and interesting. Comment on something in one of their photos. The first response should be a question. I usually say something like “That vacation shot looks like so much fun-where did you go, and was it your most favorite vacation?” As you can see, it shows you looked at their profile shots and were thoughtful in your first message to them.
• DO NOT ever say “Hey Beautiful” “Hey Handsome” or anything related to running through my dreams pick up line. Ever.
• If you are a man, we don’t want to see your life history resume. Why? You aren’t applying for a job, and if all you talk about is yourself it doesn’t appear you’re interested in HER, but rather talking about yourself. A common issue with men is they do too much talking and us gals feel unimportant.
• If you are a woman, the first comments should be inquisitive, fun and flirtatious. I’ll give an example. Someone who I reached out to had on his profile that he went to an Ivy League school. My first response was, “Hi XXX, it’s great to meet you here. I didn’t go to an ivy league school, but am a member of the bougainvillea league. Bougainvillea is so much easier on brick, and it doesn’t take up the mortar when you remove it” As you can see, I’m a bit quirky, fun and playful. And he responded well, asked for a phone call and the rest is history.

Before you say something which could be a possible turn off, and you really think you may have a match-think about what you are writing, and perhaps sit on it for a few hours. Run it by your bestie and hear their take on it. Something which you may find funny or clever may come across as creepy. And we both know that’s the last thing you want to happen.

I am available for your online profile adjustments, dating coaching and matchmaking. Please email me at lori@smartfunnysingle.com