Being a single 60’s lady, you can imagine that I’ve spoken to a few men in my day-both as a matchmaker and dating coach. I have asked many men what it is that they want, and I’ like to share it with you.
My friend Louann Ward, a fellow matchmaker believes this:
The desire of men is… Is to love a woman, please her, feel successful in her eyes, feel appreciated, feel he is doing something right…. what he doesn’t want is to compete with a woman, told what he is doing wrong all the time, expect to think like a woman and read her mind…. He wants playfulness, kindness, respect, affection, and great sex from a woman who knows who she is, has confidence, independence, drive, and passion for things important to her but who also makes room in her life for him….
Here are my thoughts. A man wants and needs a place in the relationship. An environment where he is capable of leading, caring for, nurturing, and providing emotional and physical intelligence. If a man doesn’t feel that he’s needed, wanted, and has a place, he will find it elsewhere. It’s just that simple. Men stray because they are unfulfilled at home. The same holds true for women, If we aren’t acknowledged, adored, assisted with what we need physically and emotionally, then why be in a relationship?
Ladies who are reading this. I’m a feminist. We deserve to be treated equally, but, have we gone too far-become too independent and pushed men aside, leaving them feel as if they are no longer of any value to us? This is what men are feeling in all the conversations I’ve been having. Men want “Sweet, Kind, Playful, Smart” and not be dependent upon a man for everything, Have we become too independent that we merely are looking for male versions of ourselves, only with compatible sexual equipment? Have we become too competitive with men? Have we forgotten how to use our feminine qualities when we leave work? I believe we have, and unless we begin to change our thinking, and involve our male counterparts, we will not be finding relationships that can survive.
I’m Lori Mendelsohn and I can be reached at lori@smarfunnysingle.com and at 414 914 5715. I look forward to helping you with your Online Dating App profile, dating coaching and matchmaking.