It’s a whole new world now. Dating-A New Game Indeed!
Gone are the days when a man could pick a girl up for a date, open the car door, take her hand, and lead her into a social gathering (aka a restaurant, coffee shop or bar) Even before Covid-19, dating rules changed. People began meeting in public-alerting their friends and family where they were at any given point in time. People started distrusting because of “all the creeps out there.” And now, not only do we have to contend with “creeps,” we also have to contend with an unseen virus that is keeping us “safer at home.”
It’s head spinning, frankly. I hear it over and over-“HOW DO I DATE?”
So. What are we to do to find love during a pandemic and after all the doors open again? How will we not only trust the person whom we are coming into contact with, but trust our hearts?
I keep saying this is a magical time in history. It’s time for a mindset shift. Don’t look at what can’t happen, but look at the extraordinary opportunity to connect with someone on a deeper level.
There are many things we can’t do-granted. Physical intimacy is out of the question, and if you are a person whose Physical Touch is your strongest Love Languages, then I suggest finding a pet to love. I have two Standard Poodles and I frankly think they are going to snarl at me soon with all the touching that is going on here. But, back to our subject. There is so much we can’t do, but I believe there is more that we can. Positive Mindset, please!
Some ideas on things to do:
- Be creative. Plan virtual dates where you do fun things together. Ideas such as making a meal together, watching a movie together, sharing a bottle of wine together, discussing a book together, or listening to a podcast and discussing it are all good ideas.
- 6’ apart. That way you will be at least able to meet in person and see if there is chemistry.
- Do a Zoom call and play “Never Did I Ever” or “Two Truths and A Lie.”
- Ask the 36 questions to find love from the New York Times. https://www.nytimes.com/2015/01/11/style/36-questions-that-lead-to-love.html
- Order food delivery and share a meal together, via Zoom, Skype or FaceTime
- Deep dive. I’m not talking about your favorite positions-I’m talking about what makes you tick, and find out what is important to the other person. Ask some probing questions, but first set up a safe space of trust before going down this road. I suggest a walk or Facetime first to establish a connection. This can and should be done at “date” 3 or 4.
- I have a client whose Covid-19 crush dropped homemade food to her door. Love letters, notes of kindness and other wonderful things all build romance and strengthen a bond.
- Be creative. Play a game. But don’t play games with someone’s heart.