As a professional matchmaker in Milwaukee it’s my job to help people find love, but along the way, one needs to practice self-love in order to be ready for it.
Unless you are comfortable in your own skin, are living a life of happiness and contentment, you’re not ready to be in a relationship. Full stop. I am adamant about this and make no bones about advising my clients to “get there” before we even start the journey together.
I’d like to share a recent experience I had with a friend of mine who I met on Match.com.
We didn’t hit it off, but we have become friends, and I trust and value his opinion regarding online dating. I had a preconceived notion that women were the only one’s suffering. I thought just women had to scroll endlessly through profiles of men fishing, hunting and portraying themselves by poorly lit bathroom selfies. When we had brunch recently, he wanted me to help him rewrite his dating profile, and in return, he would show me the women online who are basically “my competition.” (I don’t believe we are competitive….I believe there is a lid for every pot and therefore someone great for me won’t necessarily be the guy for another lady.)
Truth be told, there were perhaps less to choose from with his POV. I truly thought that there would be a plethora of smart, successful, beautiful women there (and there WERE, but not what I thought it would be-because, after all, that is my tribe…). There were NOT. There were women who were in hospital gowns for their main profile shot, women missing a lot of teeth, really unflattering shots of private parts and well, you are getting my drift. I felt sorry for women, but even worse for the men because if this is what is being represented as “single ladies” I understand why men are afraid to go online and find someone.
I’ll say it again. If you are not representing your best self, and practicing self-love, no one can help you. No app can make you feel whole, no matchmaker can fill the void and make you feel special, no man or woman can fill that huge hole in your heart. You’ll be endlessly dating and wasting a whole boat load of time. So, my advice is work on yourself and the person who you need most-YOU, will be looking back at you in the mirror.