The #1 question is “What do I do after the first date?”
My answer is generally, how did you feel about the first date? How did you leave the first date? It’s always a good idea to me, to tell the person at the end of the date that you enjoyed their company or, tell them that you had a very nice time, but you don’t think that it’s a match. Now, I know this may sound abrupt, but the most precious gift we have is our time. If you are using it without intention of developing a relationship with them, and that’s something that they are looking for, it’s only fair to them. Fish and cut bait, so to speak.
The 2nd most popular question I get asked is, “How soon do I have sex with someone who I am dating” and my answer is “It all depends!” I believe that a relationship needs to have a solid foundation before any type of sexual intimacy takes place. By establishing the foundation, you have a higher chance for a successful relationship. Most of the time, if the sex comes too quickly, it clouds things, and you aren’t getting to know the person, but instead, living in a high euphoric state. During these wonderful times of covid-19, it’s an opportune time to truly get to know someone and find out what makes them tick. It also allows you to spend distance time with them and ask some deep questions with them. This also allows a nice give-and-take that you wouldn’t normally have if your hormones were raging in front of someone. As well, wine is sweeter the longer it ages-why rush things?
The 3rd most popular question is “How soon do I text someone after a date?” I think that it’s a good idea to wait about 8 hours. If you had an evening date, it’s perfectly wonderful to text your date in the morning and say hello. If you wait too long, it sends a message to the other person that you are not really that interested in them. If you wait a week, you may as well disappear. On the flip side, if you send a text right away, it can sometimes look like you are needy, clingy, or codependent. However, all of this is entirely up to you, and you need to follow your heart. Trusting your gut in these types of situations is sometimes the best thing to do. I know that many women are afraid of feeling that they are chasing a man, but most men really appreciate hearing from a woman so they don’t have to use their Jedi mind-reading skills.
Always keep in mind, when you are starting a new relationship that consistency is key. Honesty is second. Step back and see if the person who you are interested in is leaning in, or, are you doing all the work? Communication is wonderful and don’t be afraid to reach out to someone to say hello. However, do not give up your day job to be spending full time texting or calling or emailing this new love interest. It can kill the romance very quickly.
I am available for dating coaching and matchmaking. Please contact me at Lori@smartfunnysingle.com or call me at 414-914-5715