Today’s dating world – who knew it could be this complicated?
Can we get back to the days where we knew someone from the community, school, or common friendships or even networking? How the heck did it get so complicated and so convoluted and when did dating become so commoditized? If you don’t like one, there are 50 more coming down the pike that may be more suitable. Do we even give each other the time of day anymore?
I reached out to a number of friends to ask how their online dating experience was. Frankly, I don’t have a lot of the horror stories or emotional upheaval that many of my clients do or did. But I wanted to share a perspective from one of my clients who really nailed it and the emotional toll that it takes when one is seeking a partner from a dating app.
My friend Deb from Grand Rapids, Michigan shared this experience:
“My objective in using the apps was to show up with integrity, be pleasant, respectful, and ready to meet, explore and build authentic relationships. What I found in the two years using Tinder, Bumble, Hinge, and Catholic Match is that the selection of professional, quality prospects is VERY thin. From there the men I met either misrepresented themselves someway resulting in no future meetings OR they were tremendous on the first meeting, first few dates- only to distance themselves, become disrespectful, or ghost. For no apparent reason. Three really great guys from WI literally just pulled out with nothing more than a few lame texts to create the distance ending our interactions. The app experience in my opinion provides too many options creating little value for men to invest in relationship bonding and commitment; the app itself/texting specifically is a filter negatively impacting dating or even human to human respectful etiquette; the app experience seems to be a breeding ground that highlights the mans worse traits- self-centeredness being number one. “
In all of my dating with in-the-world relationships (except for the horrific man I married in MI) I have been left feeling most rejected and disrespected by the men I met on these apps. And again, I am speaking of professional, quality men in their early sixties who say they want to adore the woman in their life. In my opinion, it’s a case of the grass is greener elsewhere.
I’d love to hear your opinion on dating apps and how your experience has been? Are you one of the people who would call me and say “I JUST can’t do the dating apps-they make me sad and depressed?
I’m available to help you get ready to date and write profiles to attract the right mate. Please contact me at 414 914 5715.