For those of you who are using online dating apps to date, what are you finding is the biggest hurdle that you were trying to get past?
Is it having a thoughtful, engaged response from someone?
Let me share an experience that I had on JDate. A little bit about this eligible bachelor (not sure how eligible he REALLY IS other than being on a dating site) is that he stated that he has been in Home Textiles. He had sent me a “flirt” and I had responded by saying “ I noticed that you were in textiles. I was a fashion designer for 33 years. What segment of the market are you in?”
His response was “I made curtains.”
Whoa! Dude! If you’re using your charming skills, you better turn the dial down because I’m going to jump off the page, here.
My response was “You actually made them?”
His response “Yes, ready-made that we sold to Walmart.”
Is it me?
So, those of you reading this, do you see what happened here? He had originally reached out to me and sent me a flirt with me, and showed he’s interested. I responded with something that we had in common and asked him about it. He answered. But the clincher is, he didn’t ask me one question about myself. Therefore, he wasn’t engaged in a conversation. I always say that this is a red flag for either a scammer, someone who isn’t the least bit interested or, someone who is speaking to a multitude of eligible bachelorettes at one time, which is normal. But why even have a conversation like this, to begin with?
Those of you who are doing online dating-I feel your pain. Because of your pain points, I want to offer some valuable tips for online liaisons.
- Do not give out any of your personal information-your phone number or your email. Use a burner phone, and come up with an email that is exclusive to just dating correspondence.
- Look at the level of engagement-is there TOO MUCH TOO SOON? It could be love bombing!
- If you like the conversation you are having, quickly take it offline and schedule a phone call. The call shouldn’t last more than 30 minutes. If you like what’s happening, schedule a Zoom or a Facetime call. Then meet-FOR COFFEE OR A DRINK. A 1.5-hour date at the very most-no longer. (That’s what 2nd dates are for)
- If you see that someone isn’t interested, its a clear sign of juggling multiple people, or they are busy. If they are busy, it’s understandable but watch the times they are reaching out to you-they could be married!
- Do not get emotionally involved with a life plan laid out until you know the person. Right now, all you have is a screen; a veil of privacy.
I am available for dating coaching, dating app profile writing, and matchmaking. My number is 414 914 5715, I’m eager to meet you and see how we can work together.